Stories like these make me happy to be alive...

To deal with the city's mounting dog litter problem, officials in Anchorage, Alaska, proposed in May to help call recalcitrant dog owners' attention to the problem by squirting a dab of peanut butter on each pile of dog poop in the parks and on sidewalks. (The idea is that owners would more conscientiously clean up so that their own dogs would not be tempted to try to eat the peanut butter.) [Anchorage Daily News, 5-20-02]


A friggin brilliant solution to a simple problem...Nothing would make me laugh harder than watching a bunch of people trying to stop their dogs from eating other dogs poop...

Alaska you rule!

And I don't understand this dance club thing...

I saw a girl tonight...

Pretty as a button...so to speak...

had her boobs out...bra exposed...

slut-move...but this was no slut-move...right?

Then she walked outside...

and a man who obviously tans walked by...

Cat calls...

His hair was frosted and spiked up in the front...

He had large earrings in both ears...

she spun...and approached like the ring of a talking toy cord...

I'm astounded...

"He wants your naked ass on his lap so he can brag to his friends" I yelled inside...

but I'm not sure it mattered...

Insecurity is a powerful beast...

like Heroin only everyone has it...

Who's more troubled?... I thought

Who didn't teach her integrity?

Who taught him this is acceptable?

Instinct?

Lion pride?

Do these people have as much sex as they advertise?

Or is this a demonstration?

The dance of intimidation?

Do they all go home alone?

I bet they hate themselves right?

I'm just guessing...I'm just asking?...don't go hold me accountable for this shit...

I just looked at her boobs...that where our relationship ended..

I don't want her trouble around here...

I'm a happy miserable human...

Scary I tell you...

Like the snake with the wormlike tail...

hidden in the sand...

man that looks like a worm...

Writhing about in pain...

Attracting the next in line in the food chain...

Problem is I didn't just see one Provocative female ad tonight...

I didn't just see one frosted young buck...

I saw many...

Too many...

This is destructive habitat...

Earwax gets you the pussy...

Sitting in bed...

Watching the Yankees blow a lead...

Petting our kitty...

Suddenly I get an itch in my ear...

Pinky in and twist...

ahhh....

I go to resume petting and I'm slathered...

and this ain't a cat that likes to lick...

It's just a cat that loves my earwax.